Decided to have a last minute NFL AFC/ NFC championship party at my condo. As standard, I invited some fraternity brothers over that I had not seen in a while. Figured it would be a fun time to get back together and catch up and meet all the new girlfriends they had. As the first game ended and all the food was just coming off the grill, my phone(that was playing all the music for the party) suddenly rang eight times in a row.
3 more text message tones ring out as I carried the 2 slabs of ribs from the grill to the kitchen counter. I finally got my phone to see that 3 of my college Rugby buddies had called and texted me that they were at the neighborhood tap and wanted me to make an appearance for some beers.
I quickly texted them back a picture of the food spread we already had for the party. In twenty minutes they stormed in with a case of beer and a healthy appetite from a long day at the Boat show at McCormick Place. Some quick hellos and introductions that party was now in full swing. Not long into the general conversations of what was new in everybody’s life, their annual ski trip quickly dominated my attention. “Dude, you need to come,” blurted out and I instantly said yes. As fast as I said yes, I remembered that I had not skied in 6 years and that was only for 1 day and last time before that was 12 years prior! Mind you all those times I had only skied on what amounted to as a ski hill that was built on top of an old garbage dump with 100% fake snow. I thought to myself what the heck did I get myself into? As usual, that thought left my mind as I filed that as a future me problem. When has that guy ever let me down? lol.
Emails got sent over and my share of the house got paid and plane tickets purchased asap, as the Ski week date was only 4 weeks away. As a last minute addition, I was regulated to only at couch share of the ski lodge. No problem by me as it brought down my overall cost of the trip, plus we were going skiing by day and partying by night. So sleep was less of a priority for me.
I got on the early flight with an hour layover in Denver, CO. Met another member of the group and had a beer for breakfast (7:45 AM) as we hopped on the second leg of the flight. The three of us got to sit in a row to keep the party going. The stewardess walked by and took our drink orders for the first round:
- Budlight
- Bloody Mary (that seemed to be missing the bloody part)
- MillerLite
She was pretty busy at this point in the flight so she didn’t ask for payment yet, and we had another 80 min left before we touched down in Reno, NV. We all finished our drinks and decide that it was time for another round, but this time it was “double trouble”:
- (2) Budlights
- (2) Bloody Mary’s
- (2) Millerites
As the plane started on its decent, the announcement came that it was time for the tray tables to be locked into their upright position. The constant jokes about free beer started to feel like it could really happen, but to much dismay, the stewardess stopped by with her little blue credit card machine. I offered to pay cash to settle the bill, but only credit cards were accepted at 40,000 feet in the air. One swipe, two swipes, three swipes she tried as the free beer jokes really started to get funny to everybody but her. After a couple more attempts charge the card she gave up and smiled and said, “they really are free today.” As we cheered for the free beers prize, we gathered our things and packed everything away as the flight had just a few minutes till touch down. After we landed and reached our gates suddenly all that free beer was not feeling so great burning a hole in my bladder.
There is nothing more infuriating than watching people deplane in what seems to be the most inefficient way possible, as you have to go pee. By mere seconds I made it to the bathroom with my row mates as I’m sure they were all in the same boat I was. After the most reliving bathroom break of all time, we met up with another member of the group and got in line at the Squaw Valley mountain resort desk underneath a big sign stating free lift ticket with a same-day boarding pass #freestuff.com
We all got our free lift tickets and walked over to the baggage carousel to pick up our bags and Skis/Snowboards and headed out to load up the rental truck. It was a short drive to Sqaw with fast food pit stop at Subway along the way. It was super impressive to see the sheer physical size of the mountain I was about to ski down. I suddenly felt unprepared as I saw how steep all the runs looked from the parking lot. I made my way over to the ski rental house and filed out the death wavier and lied out my ass at how experienced I am as a skier and signed up for the Demo Ski Package. If was gonna tumble down this hill I was going to do it in style.
I somehow made it on to the chairlift with zero problems, then halfway through the seemingly endless chairlift, I realize that I cannot remember how to get off a chairlift. As the top of the mountain inches closer and closer my anxiety rises higher and higher. When the moment comes to exit the chair I just ride the mini hill down to the snowboarder’s benches. “how anticlimactic” I said to myself, then the boarders got all strapped in and we shuffled over to the edge of the world.
I starred down the mountain and glanced over to see the sign that had a single black diamond. Fuck, my first time skiing in 12 years and first time ever on a real mountain and it’s a Black freaking diamond. There’s only one thing to do #sendit Sending it only last about 5 seconds, and half of that was the time it took for me hit the ground. Wasn’t a bad fall, just a washout. The snow was very icy, not like all the Instagram clips I had seen in the past of the everybody skiing in 2-5 feet of powder having the time of their life. I was 95% up against a full ice sheet under complete shade. Took me a few minutes to pop back up on my skis, but I kept slipping before I could get my center of gravity above my feet. I finally was able to stand up, turned my tips and started to slide down the hill faster and faster. I realized I now had to turn before I was going to start flailing out of control down the icy mountain face. One small turn right, another quick turn left with an immediate longer right turn, speed was still increasing. Time to get the skis perpendicular and get the speed in control. Nope, catch an edge make a complete tumble and start sliding down the hill on my back with my skis swings in the air. As I’m now effectively sledding down the hill on my back I’m actually making some pretty good progress down the hill lol. After what feels like 200 feet, I swing my feet downhill and effortlessly pop up with my skis pointing downhill with only a quarter left of the run. I speed my way down, no way I’m attempting to turn again. Somehow make it all the way to the chairlift line where my three buddies have been watching my exhibition of how NOT to ski.
The rest of the day (3.5 hours, 11 runs) my skiing improves and I’m able to keep a good pace with the group. No worries, I still fell multiple times, but after I shot through all my nerves in the first run there was nothing for me to freak out about. It took me 2 more runs before I started to feel athletic with my skis on. I use the word athletic loosely here because nothing I did proactively looked good, but only how I reacted and saved myself from falling the 100 times in the later runs is where the “athleticism” comes in to play.
Battle wounds from that day were my lower back getting cheese grated by the ice when I was sliding down the hill on my back.
Hat tip to my winter jacket. I’ve had it for 12 years and took all the abuse I could give it and never ripped, tore or disappointed. #Northface
Part 2: The “Jet 2 life” is upcoming and will summarize the next part of the trip.